my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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