Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
