She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
