i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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