Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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