what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
