I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
