im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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