I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
