I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We left an ass print on the piano.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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