the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize