I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
