I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
birth control should be required to get into college
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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