"it" just moved
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
