I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
the liver wants what the liver wants
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
