My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize