her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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