I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
