oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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