How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
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