I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
