Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
