So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize