Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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