Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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