A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
