Where is the hickey?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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