all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
