question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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