She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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