So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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