I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
