I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
