Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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