She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
