How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
