But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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