I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
