Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
