We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
