So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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