we have officially lost it.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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