Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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