i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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