I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Randomize
