careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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