Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
