I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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