So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
