Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
