Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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