Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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