yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
