what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
