i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
