only if we run a train.
done.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
